Depression is the leading cause of disability in the U. Odds are that at some point you have already or will eventually date someone with major depressive disorder. Dating someone with depression can put added strain on your relationship. It can make it harder to connect with them, becoming a wall that separates you. The bad news is that depression will always be present in some form if you are dating someone with MDD. The good news is that there is plenty you can do to make your relationship a happier and better one.
This Is What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Depression
Dating someone with depression can be an intimidating prospect, but by understanding a few basics you can set the stage for a strong and loving relationship. By acknowledging your own needs and getting involved in their healing process , you can support both your partner and yourself as you embark on this new adventure. Starting a relationship can be an exhilarating time; everything is new and exciting and there is so much to discover.
Everyone feels sad from time to time, but depression is different than normal mood fluctuations. Understanding the reality of depression is vital to being a good ally as you embark on your relationship.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week and we’re looking at people’s experiences of mental health issues – their own and those of their loved ones.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week and we’re looking at people’s experiences of mental health issues – their own and those of their loved ones. Here, our writer describes her boyfriend’s struggle with depression – and the toll it took on her. I met Liam the way many modern romances start. We were friends of friends who started chatting online. He offered to help me with my art magazine and it went from there. We started dating and a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend.
It was easy, carefree and very fun. He quickly became my best friend and for the first time, aged 22, I felt I had a partner — not just a boyfriend. We were building our careers – mine in art, his in music – and we were doing it together, making our big decisions as a team and celebrating successes with wine at night. He started touring abroad for months at a time.
It was hard adjusting to the long-distance stints – sharing our lives via late-night and early-morning WhatsApp calls – but we managed. Until things changed. Liam started constantly second-guessing himself and his confidence started to dip.
Dating Someone With Depression: Everyone Can Win
About Once you get close enough to someone you’ve been dating, your S. And if they mention depression, you could have a million questions—from what you can do to help to what this will mean for your relationship.
Men suffering from depression are four times more likely to commit suicide than women, so it’s vital for any man to seek help with depression before feelings of.
Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years. I can barely get a normal conversation. I feel so alone. He is trying to get help, but he refuses to go on any medications or stick with a plan to get better for very long.
I am so scared that this is going to always be his life—a constant roller-coaster ride controlled by depression. I want so much more for him, and for us. When he is not in the throes of depression, my boyfriend is hilarious, loving, and really fun. I feel like I may have taken that away from him by moving him away from his home. For four years, we lived only an hour or two apart; then I got a job out of state, and he was so supportive of the idea that he told me I had to go, and even decided to come with me—leaving his family, friends, and comfort zone behind.
I am torn between wanting to go home to make him happy and being worried that I might resent him for making me leave these opportunities behind. I need my boyfriend back. Help me, please.
7 Ways To Be Supportive When Dating Someone With Depression
It can be hard to see someone you love and care deeply for feeling so blue, and it can be especially hard to feel like nothing you can do will cheer them up. Of course you want to support your partner and surround them with love, care, and attention, but depending on the person, it might feel smothering and counterproductive, explains licensed psychotherapist Markesha Miller, PhD. Whether that be through medication or therapy or a little of both.
The biggest mistakes my friends made when trying to help me was thinking they could solve it. Fifteen-ish years of it, and they all tried and failed to singlehandedly fix it. The only thing that helps is knowing they are loved and supported no matter how many times they shut you out and hermit crab their days or weeks away.
Trying to navigate through the already complicated dating world gets even more complicated when you’re living with depression.
About 18 million Americans suffer from depression and another 20 million worldwide use dating websites each month, according to Online Dating Magazine. Chances are, there are people who will be in both groups. But dating can be a challenge when you suffer from depression. That said, meeting a new person can also be a source of joy. These 10 simple tips can help make dating a bit easier.
The best way to stay strong? With greater awareness about depression, the stigma of mental illness has diminished somewhat. You need to take good care of yourself before you can take care of someone else in a relationship. To do this, be sure to engage in positive self-talk, Friedman says. And if you are on medication, take it religiously; be consistent with therapy; surround yourself with a support system of friends and family; and be around upbeat, positive people.
You might need to lick your own wounds first. If things become more serious, however, you should tell your potential partner. Friedman says a good time might be when you decide to see each other exclusively or when you just feel that you care more deeply about each other.
No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss.
He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on—a big deal in this situation—and was equipped to deal with it.
Dating and depression don’t always go hand in hand as it’s pretty common for guys to withdraw from relationships when fighting depression.
When one half of the relationship has an illness, it can be hard to maintain that balance because you want to help your partner. You can end up always putting their needs first and forgetting about yourself. This only works well for a while, though. If you ignore them for too long they will grow in scale and you may end up feeling lonely or even resentful.
Ask them what they find supportive at that moment. If your partner is okay with it, you can get involved in their treatment. There are therapy sessions that help you navigate your relationship in a healthy way and being supportive while maintaining important boundaries. If your partner suffers from depression, they may not always be able to participate in regular activities.
They are actually experiencing a difficult psychological illness which makes it difficult for them to function sometimes. Be flexible and consider alternate activities that they would be more comfortable with, like staying in and watching and movie or cooking dinner.
‘I broke up with my boyfriend when he had depression’
Mental health issues can affect anyone, and our loved ones could be one of them. And if someone you love is struggling with it, it is important that you step up to be their support system. Remember that knowing about depression and how it affects one is the first as well as the most critical information you can possess. It is through understanding, that you can adopt ways to help them and yourself.
The experience is not fundamentally different than dating someone without a mental illness, but there are issues that are more likely to arise. By.
In retrospect, this man was not a good match for me, but it was still a very painful experience, both because a serious relationship had ended and because I felt ashamed and thought that my depression had made me unlovable. Since this experience, I have learned a lot about my mental health and no longer feel ashamed of something beyond my control.
With this self-knowledge, caring for my mental health has played a more positive role in all my other relationships. I have been able to communicate effectively about my health to significant others and now to my husband. They may have crying spells, feelings of hopelessness, insomnia or over-sleeping, and changes in appetite. Here are a few things to keep in mind:. Be aware that there is no timeline for getting better. For some people, depression can last a few weeks, but others may be afflicted with symptoms for years.
Learning about their symptoms and what they are going through can build your empathy and show your significant other that you care about their health and well-being. Depression is commonly caused by a stressful situation or event, family history, or seasonal changes, among other things. There may also not be a readily identifiable reason. Taking some time to learn about depression can be helpful in understanding what your partner is going through.
There are many effective treatments for depression, but doing nothing and hoping that symptoms will magically disappear is not one of them. Your role in their recovery is to support them, not to try to fix them or force them into a certain treatment.